last night

was so freaking amazing.
;D

good night :]

my emotions gleam with joy like the sunset's reflection on the ocean.
i feel so happy, and grape flavor ice things are bomb.
i kind of wish i was tired cause i have a long day tomorrow.
i'm rather stoked for breakfast;
i could go for a nice egg sandwich or french toast. anything yummy, really.

the global regents was kind of easy.
my stress is easing a bit; i'm not so worried anymore.
i have to try and stop sleeping on my stomach.
my belly button is becoming sore and i really feel like it's from laying on it so much.

tonight is pretty fabulous.
oh, and my hair smells like coconut.
i conditioned the hell out of it :]

goodnight.

i'm ashamed to say it but

the reason i yell at you for feeling this way
is because i don't want you the feel the same way i do lately.

who am i even trying to fool anymore?

deeper i'm falling

into the arms of sorrow.

i'm tired of the fighting.
i want us to just get along.
i want us to just be happy.
i want to stop acting like we hate each other.
i feel like some kind of monster for freaking out like that.
it wasn't just today; i'm not like that.
it was out of character for me and i feel horrible.
it was a mixture of stress and just built up frustration.
i don't think you're too fond of me.

things kind of

really suck.

its not fucking

fair.

runaway

everytime she opens her mouth i start to remember why i used to want to run away or die.
i'm tired of her empty promises.
i'm tired of her laziness.
i'm tired of her excuses.
i'm tired of her.
i hope my kids don't ever feel this way about me;
i hope they don't want to scream or punch a wall everytime i speak.
i know how to stay strong;
i've taught myself fairly well.
sometimes i just don't want to stay strong anymore.
sometimes i want to be able to relax a bit and just let things go smoothly.
summer always sucks cause more free time means more time to really think about stuff.
sometimes i just want a break from reality.

i think i need to

calm my nerves.
sometimes it just gets hard.
sometimes i want to get up.
sometimes i think i'm not strong enough.
why can't this just stop?
my thoughts are all over,
i need to get out of here before i do something dumb.

i wish that i could

make it stop.

i'm alive.

maybe i'm just worrying for nothing;
maybe things will unfold themselves and be fine.
maybe if i pray and hope enough everything will go smoothly.
maybe i've just gotta have faith.
everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay it's not the end.

my legs absolutely ache and i have no idea why.
i just realized how happy i am to have an AC in my room.
i'm going to have a nice, cool sleep tonight :]

i'm glad we worked things out. i really hope things stay this way.
i can't afford to ever lose you.
i don't want to ever lose you.
i hope you never give up on me.

amor vincit omnia;

my heart is racing, and i feel as if i've planted a butterfly bush in my tummy --
in the best way possbile, of course.
there is a smile glued to my face and i have so much love to give.
i honeslty have not felt this way before, ever.

i've never given by complete all to someone before.
i've given pieces to people, but no one person has ever truly gotten all of me.
i'm ready to let my guard down now.

you've cast these scars across my face,

you can't bring me down.

there is an outburst of frustration building up inside me and i can't quite figure out why.
i have a melting pot of emotions that i can't even begin to sort out right now.
i colored seven pictures today and yet i'm still feeling a bit stressed.
hopefully it's just the tests and whatnot stressing me out.
i wish my thoughts weren't flying too fast to get them out, but they are;
to the point where i can't even pick bits and pieces from them.
asdfghjkl; i'm going to bed.

go ahead and burn it down,

i'm drunk and so is everyone else in this devil town.

if there's one thing i really hate about the humidity is my corresponding increased irritability.
i should probably just go to bed and avoid it, but i'm doing this instead.
i'm so relieved that school is almost done.
this week will be a breeze, and tests will be over before i know it.
i just really hope i'm not home bored this whole summer;
i need some spice in my life.
i'm pretty sure the essay i just wrote kinda sucks, and i failed to complete my earth science homework. oops.
not a bad day for a monday, and seeing femia kinda made my day a little bit.
i want it to be tomorrow so i can be merry..in the rain. :]

reality overcomes me, i'm living a lie;

i never realized how much people don't know me.
with the exception of about two people, my personality is never expressed.
people get bits and pieces, but never the whole thing.
i'm a very compassionate person but i never express it;
i'm not used to compassion, i don't know how and when i do i feel awkward.
i'm not as open about my feelings as i'd like to be.
i feel like i'm awkward.
i guess i have some stuff to work on this summer.

and i said it's alright

i feel a shift in the way things are going,
like things are truly great and only getting better.
i've found what i'm looking for,
and i don't think i could be happier right now.

only one more week until it's basically the end.
this summer is going to be better than the other ones, i'm deadset on that.
until then, my head will be ready to explode;
whatever it takes to do well on these tests.

i'm happy to finally be able to say that life is fantastic,
and i can't wait to see what's in store for me next.

so here we are;

a new blog, a new beginning.
things are fabulous.
everything always seems better when you just accept things as they are and let nature take it's course.
there's no use in trying to stop things or change what cannot be changed;
go with the flow and seize every moment you can before they pass you by and become nothing but a distant memory.