I may have actually found a happy medium. Things are pretty much going horribly here right now, but I think I can still see some good in this. I'm glad I get to relax this week mostly, and I'm excited for Friday. Things are stronger than ever between us. Another shot at reaching NHS is coming up. I made Seub agree to go to AW which I'm excited for.Time is going fast and slow at the same time. Things are bad and good at the same time. Maybe this is life's steady medium; the space where things are good and bad and fast and slow and happy and sad and normal.
Thinking about the buffet before triggered my memories. She'd always sneak me out to eat on my school breaks and not tell him about it. We'd go drive around and look at houses to escape ours together. Even when things were on the brink of falling apart, when you took me and got us Starbucks and sat at the Town Hall playground and you promised things would be okay. What happened to the mommy you were? Even if it was a lie, even if everything we had seems gone, even if I should hate you and want to hate you, this mom has to be somewhere hiding beneath this strange monster...right?
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